When you move in together, split the costs you both use, keep the costs from your separate lives separate, and decide how before the first bill arrives. Most couples split rent and utilities by income or 50/50, split groceries and household things 50/50, and keep their own debts, phones, subscriptions and savings to themselves. The move itself brings a few one-time costs (the deposit, movers, furniture) that are worth agreeing on separately, because they behave differently from a monthly bill.
This post covers what to share, what to keep, how to handle the move-in costs, and a worked first month with two different incomes.
Start with three lists
Before you pick percentages, sit down for twenty minutes and sort every cost into one of three lists.
Shared and monthly:
- Rent or mortgage
- Utilities, internet and renter's insurance
- Groceries and household supplies
- Streaming services you both watch
Shared and one-time, from the move:
- The security deposit
- Movers or a rental truck
- Furniture and kitchen things you buy together
- Setup fees, such as an internet install
Yours alone:
- Debts from before you met, such as student loans or a car loan on your own car
- Your own phone plan and subscriptions only you use
- Clothes, hobbies and gifts to your own family
- Your own savings and retirement
The third list matters as much as the first two. A cost that stays yours is one you never have to negotiate.
Monthly costs: by income or 50/50
If you earn about the same, splitting monthly costs 50/50 is the simplest choice. If one of you earns noticeably more, many couples split the big fixed costs by income and the small everyday ones 50/50.
Splitting by income means each of you pays the same share of your take-home pay. If one of you brings home $5,400 a month and the other $3,600, the household brings home $9,000. The first person earns 60% of it, so they pay 60% of the rent.
We go through the full math for this choice, including where the gray areas sit, in how couples split expenses by income or 50/50. For rent alone, the rent split calculator does it with your own numbers.
One-time move-in costs
The move brings costs that only happen once. Each one needs a slightly different answer.
The security deposit
A deposit is money you expect to get back when you move out, so it isn't really spending. Split it the same way you split rent, and write down who paid what. If you get it back, each of you gets back the share you put in. If the landlord keeps part of it for damage, the loss is shared in the same proportion.
Movers and the truck
Most couples split these 50/50. If one of you is moving a full apartment and the other a few boxes, splitting by how much each person moves is fair too. Pick one and move on; this is rarely worth an argument.
Furniture and things for the home
Things you buy together for the new place are usually split 50/50. Things you each bring from before stay yours.
Write down who owns what. A $1,500 couch bought together belongs to both of you. If you ever move apart, the person who keeps it can pay the other their half of what it's worth then, which is usually less than the price you paid.
Breaking an old lease
If one of you leaves a lease early, the fee often stays with the person whose lease it was. Some couples split it, since the move was a joint decision. Either is fine as long as you agree before anyone pays it.
A worked first month
Say the two of you from above, one bringing home $5,400 a month and the other $3,600, move into a $2,400 apartment. You agree to split rent and the deposit 60/40 by income, and everything else from the move 50/50.
The first month's costs:
- First month's rent: $2,400, split 60/40, so $1,440 and $960
- Security deposit: $2,400, split 60/40, so $1,440 and $960
- Movers: $900, split 50/50, so $450 each
- Couch: $1,500, split 50/50, so $750 each
- Kitchen and household starter items: $300, split 50/50, so $150 each
- Internet install: $100, split 50/50, so $50 each
Shares:
- Higher earner: $1,440 + $1,440 + $450 + $750 + $150 + $50 = $4,280
- Lower earner: $960 + $960 + $450 + $750 + $150 + $50 = $3,320
Check it: $4,280 + $3,320 = $7,600, which is every cost on the list.
Now say the higher earner paid the rent and the deposit, $4,800, and the lower earner paid the movers, the couch, the kitchen things and the internet install, $2,800.
- The higher earner paid $4,800 and their share is $4,280, so they are owed $520.
- The lower earner paid $2,800 and their share is $3,320, so they owe $520.
One $520 transfer and the move is settled. The two amounts always match. If they don't, a cost was missed or counted twice.
What the move cost you
The month above looks expensive, and it is. But it is not a normal month, and $2,400 of it is the deposit, which you expect to get back.
So the first month's real spending is $5,200, not $7,600. The higher earner's share of that spending is $2,840, and the lower earner's is $2,360. Each of you also has a share of the deposit waiting with the landlord: $1,440 and $960.
Keep that in mind when you look at your budget for the month. A big first month with a deposit and a couch in it doesn't mean every month will look like that. Rent repeats. The movers and the couch don't.
The $520 transfer isn't income for the person who receives it, and it isn't spending for the person who sends it. It only evens out costs that were already counted.
Settling up after the first month
After the move, most couples fall into a simple rhythm. One person pays some bills, the other pays the rest, and once a month you add up who paid what and send one transfer to even it out.
A few habits make this easier:
- Log shared costs the day you pay them, in a shared note, a spreadsheet or an app like Splitwise.
- Mark each cost with how it's split, so nobody has to remember at month end.
- Pick one day a month to settle up, such as the day after rent is paid.
We walk through a setup for this in our split expenses spreadsheet post, and a full monthly plan in the budget template for couples.
When to revisit the split
Look at your split again when either of you changes jobs or gets a raise, when the lease renews, or when you start sharing more of your money. Once a year is enough for most couples. The point is a split you both chose on purpose.
If you share accounts with a partner, Monio's household view adds up the accounts each of you chooses to share and leaves out money moved between you.
Questions
How do you split expenses when moving in together?
Split the costs you both use, such as rent, utilities and groceries, and keep costs from your separate lives, such as your own debts, phone and subscriptions, separate. Many couples split rent and utilities by income and everyday costs 50/50. Agree on the split before the first bill arrives.
Should you split rent 50/50 when moving in together?
50/50 works well when you earn about the same. If one of you earns noticeably more, many couples split rent by income, so each pays the same share of their take-home pay.
How do you split a security deposit with a partner?
Split it the same way you split rent and write down who paid what. When you move out, each of you gets back the share you put in, and any amount kept for damage is shared in the same proportion.
Who owns furniture you buy together?
Things you buy together belong to both of you, and things you bring from before stay yours. If you move apart, the person who keeps a shared item can pay the other their half of what it's worth then.